So Today may very well be the last time I got to nurse Jordan. What an odd, lonely feeling :o(
I am almost out of milk completely, and I filmed myself nursing him as the "possible last time" and took pictures.
so bittersweet...
I must say I am heartbroken...but at the same time elated. I have no clue what is wrong with me. one minute i love it and one minute i hate it. ugh
So today i tried a bottle of just formula and he seemed to do just fine...which is good right? then why does that bother me so much?...I think i know. but it is still good i guess. However I have quite the freezer stash so I am going to mix them for a while til i use it all up. except when we go out in public and its easier to just carry a bottle of water and put formula scoops in when ready. and at night...out of pure laziness lol, we began to have bottles of water ready to go on our headboard, and formula on my nightstand, to make this transition a little easier.
Especially cuz I have a fever and chills and a sore throat, and now Jordan is waking all night and has a hoarse voice which leads me to believe he has what i have. Blake still has the runny nose. Weird.
I must be crazy mixed up right now. But as much as it would have made sense to take it slow, I cant tolerate dragging things out, so I needed to do it somewhat quickly for my own sanity. In my eyes, Im either BF or FF. not both, too complicated- when you have your hands full as it is. Im always looking for shortcuts and ways to make my days easier...and really...i have.
I guess im just rambling today much like that of a diary so i will let you carry on with more important things :P
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