Thursday, April 7, 2011

Surrogacy Diaries...4 Update and Anticipation

Alright... Since I have last posted, quite a bit has changed in a short period of time. At first, these changes were hurtful (although not intended to be), and confusing...now I realize that this is just something that God wanted, and I will be led to where I should be.

What has happened?

Well, I sent the IP's my medical records. They were up front with me in saying that my first pregnancy (even though it wasn't that bad) may raise some red flags with their Dr. So when I got the email saying their Dr. reviewed my records and they cannot unfortunately move forward with me...it wasn't a huge shock. But I still shed some tears. I felt so connected with them, so...happy. But even though I don't fully understand why, I am perfectly okay with it now. As my IM told me: "when one door closes another opens". I believe that to be the case. 

So I have made the decision to strictly stick with the lawyer/agency ...I will refer to her as "H" until I have permission to use her name. She truly is a wonderful person. She gave me the profile that same day of a couple who lives in a relatively nearby city (in my state). I told her about what happened with my medical records, and she really didn't see it as being an issue for most, so that relieved me...I am determined to do this for someone!

She sent my profile to that couple, and she emailed me 2 days later saying they LOVED it! YEAY! Here we go again, lol. Oh well...at least I can bond with people easily right?? "H" said the couple would like to have a conference call on friday (tomorrow) at 10AM :D I agreed, as this is when Guy goes down for his morning nap. So it should go smoothly. 

Also, yesterday I had my annual PAP. She did my checkup, my blood pressure was 110/60 .. and at the end shook my hand, and was ready to walk out when I finally had the courage (yes, courage....Dr's stun me into silence for some reason) to say 
"I have a question.."

"Sure- go ahead"

"Uhm..Do you.. Do you think I would be okay to be pregnant again?"

"Hold on" sits down "let me take a look at your chart"...."is there a reason why you feel you shouldnt??"

"OH...no, haha, its for a surrogate pregnancy...I am ready to do this and just want to make sure its not out of the question for whatever reason"

"Ah..." looks for a couple minutes .. "I dont see why not.." finally looks up from my chart and smiled (me-sigh of relief) "Yeah, I definitely think that it something you could do" 

Then she stared at me for what felt like forever, and I felt like I should be saying something. so I said 
"you must think it is strange..what im doing..then?"

She seemed to snap out of her staring session and smiled big 
"no...actually...I think.. (say it lady) .. its a very selfless thing to do"

Wow took her long enough to say it...and the way she walked towards me i had this strange feeling that she had a woman-crush on me HAHA! Im probably totally wrong, as she is married with 3 boys, and the sweetest of all the Dr's there...but it was just funny how she said it and walked toward me :P

So that made me super duper happy...that my Dr. thinks its something I am fully capable of and healthy enough to do! SUCCESS!

Its the small things that count.

I will update after friday's conference call!

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