Friday, April 29, 2011

The Only Regret I Have.

I need to let this one go....so here it is :/

Here i am surrounded by all these people getting married... it is something thats been heavy on my heart for a while now but i never saw the point in bringing it up. i am so thankful for our marriage and our kids and our life. i want to be honest with you. although i think our wedding was cute and neat....i regret not having the wedding i dreamed of growing up. i know it was my idea to just get married sooner than later...but now its proving to be one of the biggest regrets of my life...

it was such a HUGE milestone and we didnt celebrate the way id always dreamed of. im sitting here bawling my eyes out...because i know it will never happen. it is something i posted on a wedding site forum a while ago and am just now reading the responses. i asked if it would be okay to just have a vow renewal/redo so we could have the dress the party and the fun. the result was a big resounding NO! many of the people were very harsh telling me in other words that im being selfish and superficial. I just cant help how i feel. so now that i know that that idea is completely socially unacceptable, im just mourning the loss of a childhood princessy dream of my daddy walking me down the aisle and giving me away.

some people reading this may be rolling their eyes or whatever...but i am very down about it. i know i need to just look forward and move on, but every time i see wedding pictures of people surrounded by all their friends and family and the radiant bride in her beautiful wedding gown, i get a pang in my gut. not jealousy...b/c their wedding isnt what i envisioned....just regret. and i never thought i would have a regret in my life like that. sorry if this is meaningless to the reader.

...its just something i needed to get out.

10 comments:

  1. I completely understand. My husband and I got married after 5 years of dating and four kids.....at the courthouse because he was deploying. Its been 3 years and I'm a wedding planner nand I bawl because I know mine will never happen. Keep ur head up and never give up on ur wedding dreams.good luck!!s

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  2. hormones + royal wedding = over thinking things! don't worry about it love, its the marriage that matters, not the wedding!!

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  3. lol i forgot about the royal wedding!!! its the fact that im about to be a matron of honor....and seeing friends getting married on FB. i promise im not overthinking this...ive felt this way for a looooong while. i know i know the marriage is what counts....but usually people who say this never experienced having the exact opposite of what they wanted....ugh...its hard to get ppl to understand where i am coming from.

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  4. Liz I feel the same way! My husband and I got married quietly in the courthouse in December 2008 when I was five months pregnant with my son and I was 21 years old. We wanted to be married before I had the baby and also so all three of us would have the same last name when he was born. We were planning to get married during the summer of 08, but finding out I was pregnant changed everything. Now at 24 all of my girlfriends and cousins are getting married and planing their big dream weddings...I feel left out and like I will never ever get to do that. I too thought maybe my hubby and I could do a renew of vows 10-20 years down the road but everyone I talk to about the idea thinks the same, that I am tacky and selfish :(

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  5. Who says you can't renew your vows in a big way?? What jerks! I say go for it!

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  6. I dont see a problem with renewing your vows in a big way with your friends and family, dress, venue, party!! Its a celebration of love! So what if you've already said your I Dos..Say them again!! xoxoxo

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  7. Liz- It is up to you and your family if you want to redo your wedding! Who cares what is "socially acceptable/unacceptable?" If that is what you want then GO FOR IT! There is nothing wrong with doing it big and renewing your vows. It would be amazing and you wouldn't have to have this regret for the rest of your life. I say do it!

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  8. OMG! Are you freaking kidding me!?! AHAHA!

    I totally plan to have a 'second' wedding:

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/how-to-renew-your-vows.aspx?MsdVisit=1


    Hubby and I plan to get 'remarried' on our ten year anniversary. On a cruise ship, lol. Just for fun! We plan to invite everyone out to celebrate our ten year anniversary. I'm going to have a big beautiful dress and pay for all the 'wedding' stuff myself. Everyone will have to pay their own way onto the ship but it's fantastic cause your with family CRUISING!

    It's totally awesome! DO IT GIRL! Make plans! It's not like you're expecting gifts or someone else to pay for it ;).

    Hubby and I also plan to later have another one and it to be 'star wars' themed.


    <3 Kare

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  9. id go for it! if ppl wanna judge and tell u its unacceptable, dont ivite them. invite supportive happy ppl and go dress shoppin!!!!

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  10. I'm late with my comments here. Liz, If you want your special wedding, have it. You may want to wait till after the new pregnancy venture but you sure could start planning it. Many people renew their vows. Do it. You deserve it and you are a selfless person. How cute to have your boys in the wedding and no matter how good the relationship is it would bring it to another level. Keep all of the rules and traditions and pretend it's the first time. Connie

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